I woke up this morning like any other day. I went golfing with my brother and dad, had lunch and did some work in the afternoon. It wasn’t until after dinner and some time in the pool in our backyard, sitting around a fire that my kids starting asking me if they could have my car, my cell phone, and my business if I died or became a zombie tomorrow after the Apocalypse.
I was a little taken aback, because I didn’t realize that there was going to be a Zombie Apocalypse tomorrow until they filled me in. This got me thinking about my network marketing business. If half the world is crushed by earthquakes and zombies, then those of us that survive, will definitely have a great opportunity to really explode our network marketing businesses.
I put together a few simple things you should do immediately that will help you build your network marketing business after the Apocalypse (including if there are Zombies in your city). Here goes…
Step 1: Phone, email, text, facebook, or send a carrier pigeon to your network marketing home office to determine if they are still open for business and if they have a shipping company that will continue to deliver products and pay checks to your area.
Step 2: Find out either online, by tv, or by walking around outside if there are any zombies walking around in your area. If there are zombies, locate a network marketing company that distributes any of the following products which are all effective for both deterring zombies and for complete zombie removal:
- Kitana Swords
- Zombie Repellent Spray
- Flame Throwers
- Lead Pipes
- Lightsabers or Blasters
- Assault Rifles or Uzis
- and of course golf clubs and baseball bats
Network Marketing companies offering these products after a flood of Zombies start roaming around will really take off and of course being in on the groundfloor of a Kitana Sword or Flame Thrower network marketing business will really be huge for your income post-Apocalypse.
Step 3: This is a very important step; prospecting. Lead generation and finding suitable business partners after the Apocalypse will require a new set of skills that you will need to learn. I will be holding weekly conference calls to teach you prospecting skills such as:
- How to tell the difference between a Zombie and someone that is just bored to death with your network marketing pitch
- One secret technique that allows you to close 100% of your prospects into your business when they’ve had family members eaten by Zombies. This technique is guaranteed to work 100% of the time
- How to get your prospect to trade their last food rations for a membership in your network marketing business
- How to get your prospect “garage qualified” on the first contact, even if they no longer have a garage, or car, or job, or money
- How to have a flood of prospects banging down your door wanting in (even if there aren’t Zombies chasing them)
- How to get Social Security Numbers for Zombies, so your new Diamond Executive Distributor can sign up all his Zombie friends
Step 4: Email Marketing…SPAM everyone you possibly can!! The first group of people that will be quarantined as potential Zombies will definitely be everyone working for the FTC and the computer geeks that spend 24 hours per day programming networks to regulate email and spam worldwide. These guys are already the walking dead. So after they’re gone, spam will be easy to get through with no rules and no regulators around. Take fast action right after the Apocalypse.
DISCLAIMER: Step 4 is NOT intended to induce, encourage, or condone the use of spam or any unsolicited email communication. JoelBroughton.com, Joel Broughton and all affiliated companies DO NOT send unsolicited emails and this is NOT saying that you should either. JoelBroughton.com and Joel Broughton DO NOT believe that the FTC and computer geeks are Zombies, this is used as an imaginary example only. JoelBroughton.com and Joel Broughton hope that the FTC and computer geeks worldwide are NOT offended by Step 4 and hope that there are NO hard feelings.
Step 5: Check to see if you are a Zombie. If you are still trying to build your network marketing business diligently after the Apocalypse, you might already be a Zombie yourself. Ask your neighbor or a friend if you appear to be undead or have a pale complexion. If you are a Zombie, try to recruit your Zombie friends and family, likely they will not put up many objections to joining you in your network marketing business…in fact, most won’t even talk. If they moan or grunt, that means YES, they want to join. Sign them up.
If you require personal assistance to grow your network marketing business either now or after the Apocalypse, just leave a comment on this page with your contact info and if I’m not already a Zombie or fallen in an Earthquake hole, then I’ll get back to you within 48-72 hours.
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